“Do no conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”Romans 12:2
If there’s anything I’ve learned in life, it’s how your thoughts can run away with you. Your heart is deceitful, but your thoughts can literally control you. True or otherwise.
I have learned over the years to be quite careful with my thoughts. There are not many things I’m as cautious with as a thought. I have come to respect and fear the fact that every single mistake, sin, regret, or compromise, AND triumph, blessing, success, or love begins with a thought.
Tonight my thoughts are heavy. Tonight I understand that we chose the life we have. We chose to let our lives be a story and a help and resource for others. I don’t doubt our calling. I don’t regret making the choice. But sometimes in the middle of a storm, you’re going to have stormy thoughts. Tonight I wonder why our ‘dues weren’t paid’ and our ‘story put out there’ in the beginning of this journey with Asher. Wasn’t that enough? Look at how much good came of it. Look at the faith built. Look at the stories told and the prayers prayed.
Now as our time grows close to meeting little Asher, and I have been so excited to experience every piece of it I try to wrap my head around the coming events. That my ‘experience’ will be limited to him being cut from me while I’m rolled to another room to be put on another iv. That I will be separated from him until I am able to walk after surgery.
And it’s those thoughts that make a dragon. Those thoughts that can make you loose sight of every single good thing.
The fact that in the scheme of everything, this is but a moment. The fact that greatness has been spoken over this little life already. The fact that I know that he will walk with so much of the Holy Spirit that he will teach us how to love God more. The fact that I can feel a fighter doing cartwheels in my belly and he’s going to remain a fighter to do what he’s called to do in life.
A dragon can kill you in a moment. But only if you let it. Be renewed. Be empowered. Be transformed. And never forget the power and the faithfulness of the God we serve.