Prince of Peace

Prince of Peace

Tearing through the night
Riding on the storm
Staring down the fight
My eyes found yours
Shining like the sun
Striding through my fear
The Prince of Peace met me there
-Hillsong United
Prince of Peace

I know I haven’t done a good job of updating, but…..tomorrow is a big day.

We only found out it was actually going to be a big day yesterday. 🙂

Tomorrow we go in for our third round of invitro. This time I’ve been able to skip the shots and the crazy because we’re using our frozen embryos. It has been an up and down process trying to find out if insurance would cover it and if I was even ready to go back yet.

As it turns out, we are at the very last of our insurance for this, but it is just enough to cover!!

Yesterday, though, I found out that one of the medications I have to be on for two months if I’m pregnant is going to cost us $1300 a month since we’re out of insurance. (!!!) Needless to say, I was in a pretty deep state of shock for most of the day. I made a call to my nurse at ART and she calmed me down and said she has enough samples to get us through the pregnancy test!! If there’s a positive result, of course, I’ll pay anything for the meds!! But if not, then I didn’t want $26oo sitting in the closet! 🙂

So tomorrow it is. I’ll pop a Valium at 9:15 and it’s all downhill from there.

Preparing for this round has been different from the others. I truly do have a good feeling about this. I truly do feel like it’s the right time. I truly do trust that God is going to work a miracle and  prove faithful.

But I also feel scared. I have believed that with my whole heart every step of the way and gotten nowhere. I feel stupid for believing out loud. I feel naive for putting my faith out there one more time. But I also can’t help it.

I don’t know what God has planned, or why we have gone through what we’ve gone through so far, but I do believe that there is some purpose. Whether it’s timing that we don’t see, or a life that he’s been able to work in through our story, or just how much closer I am to him because of clinging on for dear life. But I do trust. I do believe.

To the women that have banded together in prayer for me this month, you are indescribably priceless. Knowing that you are praying means everything to me. Thank you to everyone who keeps us on your mind. Who lifts us up in prayer. Who is concerned, who hugs, who loves. Thank you.

I am weeks worth of nervous all balled up into today so prayers for tomorrow would be amazing! We will find out results next Friday (11/6).

So there we are! Until next time….

the signature

3 Comments

  1. Randi Dicus
    October 28, 2015 / 2:18 am

    Sending prayers your way always! Love you guys and I will be keeping you in prayer and my fingers crossed.

  2. Donna Jeffreys
    October 27, 2015 / 10:24 pm

    Praying & believing for you sweetness.
    God knows your hearts desire and he is faithful.
    Never ever let the enemy interject seeds of doubt, ok? God has your baby….he or she is coming! Keep your eyes upon Jesus love.
    I love you! Mrs Donna

  3. October 27, 2015 / 8:53 pm

    So excited for you and Brandon! Prayers for peace and God’s perfect presence with you tonight and tomorrow!!

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