When I think about this little boy it’s hard to think past the struggle.
It was a struggle to get pregnant.
It was a struggle to be pregnant at the end.
It was a struggle to watch my vision of a bonding moment over birth disappear without an option.
It has been a struggle to feed him.
It is a struggle to comfort him, making my worst fears come true of feeling like a bad mother.
It’s a struggle to remember why we prayed.
But when I SEE this boy….I see the promise of what wil be. I see the scripture in Isaiah where the Lord tells us that his thoughts are nothing like our thoughts. And his ways far beyond what we could imagine. I see hope. I see greatness. I see a journey that is already so full for such a little guy.
As a mama that is frustrated and hormone crazed and literally losing more of her mind every day, it’s hard not to have a pity party about our path so far. And I’ll be honest, I’m partied out! Ha.
I’ve never thought that my life should be better than anyone else’s. In fact, I can’t believe I’m as blessed as I am. God has been so faithful. But everything surrounding our miracle has felt like a nightmare.
I keep wondering when the clouds will break. I do know they will. I do know this is just a season and people deal with this same stuff all of the time.
But this is our miracle. Do I need to tell you that this is not what I envisioned? It’s no less a miracle, just a confusing one.
But as Sunday approaches I’m reminded of a promise that I made that makes faith and hope burn like a fire. I promised the Lord that Asher would be His 100% from day 1. And this is what is true.
The vision on his life is a great one. The words spoken over this little one will come to pass. God is going to use Asher in an incredible way and my prayer is to come as close as I can to being the parent he needs me to be. I couldn’t have a better partner to do this with.
This Sunday we’ll join with his miracle buddy as we dedicate our little ones to the Lord. I am filled with awe and wonder thinking about the path that God has laid out for these little ones and what is to come.
His thoughts are nothing like our thoughts and his ways are far beyond what we can imagine.
It’s not my business or luxury to know why little Asher has had such a journey so far. It is my business to follow through with my promise as we commit him to the Lord, raise him with our village, and do everything we can to see God’s purpose for him lived out to the fullest.
These are the thoughts of a dizzy mama trying her best. I love my boy and love the village that we have around us that have helped make life better through our journey. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Celebrate with us and say a prayer as we dedicate him to the Lord and to His purpose this Sunday!